So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
