wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i love accidental penises.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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