I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
