Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
