Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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