I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
