Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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