I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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