Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
