I'm really into asian looking animals
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
