i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
