i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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