i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
