What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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