you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize