I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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