If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
