So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
