did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Panties = found
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
