I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
