You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
