Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
