I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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