I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
