Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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