Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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