fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
