Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
