Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
