I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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