This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
