You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Congratulations! We have a period
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
