doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
