Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
