okay pat passed out under dana's car
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
In other news, I just burned my penis
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
