Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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