Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
