I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
this hospital has no fireball
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
