we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
