why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
