Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
