On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
