I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
