i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
