When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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