are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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