Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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