is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
