She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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