I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Jerry, you need to find god
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
