every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
