You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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