im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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