Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
