I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
