Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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