We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
