How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
