we're blogging at a bar
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
