In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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