Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
