every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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