I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
