This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
