did you get engaged???
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
