Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
