I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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