I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
third nipple confirmed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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