All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
