these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
