The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
