I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
