idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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